Bye Mum, See you soon

We held each other close
for the seconds that remained
and I felt your body sob
as I offered my refrain of consolation.

Oh, it hurts!
These tearing seconds that stretch
all the way back to a time
when I was yours, you mine.
Oh, it hurts to see us this way.

And that hall is so long
and my piddly-puddly steps sound squishy
in my own departmental ears,
all that's left, tears, fears,
laughter without reason -
crushing love on a slushy afternoon.

We're sailors all and the world swells.
Concrete tilts, we heave and buckle
as another wave passes
and another and another after that.

Don't look back cause if you do
you will see your mother shuffling after you,
casting her beautiful farewells,
her garbled spells full of their own sweet magic.
Don't look back cause if you do
you will know that she is crying too
and there isn't enough room between us
for all this yearning.

Echos of Joy

I have never done this, but think I should,
never tried, but if I could, would
sit in the middle of a glass smooth lake
in kayak or canoe, any vessel will do
and shout, shout out
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Then listen for the echo that knows no bounds.
Listen as if I were out there,
beyond the edge of my own sound,
hearing my anthem back again
to a place that we remember.

We must believe God,
sitting in my writer's room, alone,
every word doomed to fall into its page -
believe the soul's rage, its love
radiates beyond our structure of ideals,
out, where it peals in resonate passion
with another, and another, and another
who shouts in sympathy, Hallelujah!


Is it Christian of me to utter this,
suggest that bliss might be:
sounds a throat can shape
to quake utter silence, shake distant stars?
Am I wrong to revel in taught skin,
singing my chorus into thrumming ether?
Is it sin to shout Hallelujah!
in praise of what I do not know?

We have never done this, but I think we should,
never tried, but if we could, would
sit in the middle of a glass smooth lake
in kayak or canoe, any vessel would do
and shout, shout out
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Good Enough

My dog Buddy hacks and coughs
like he's about to spit up a lung.
He licks himself in public,
and scratches rambunctiously at imagined fleas,
and the back door, and his dinner dish.
He shits on our lawn and in the boulevard.
And we hover round,
our inverted plastic bags at the ready
to whisk away his logical conclusions
while he trots on.
In his world poop ain't worth wiping your ass over.
He growls and yowls at every passing footstep,
and howls when I sing off key.
He's a nuisance underfoot, and an expense.

But that's okay.
Because in Buddy's eyes I'm good enough.
I'm not a screw-up or a pack of lies.
I'm not a suit with a mismatched tie...
He's a dog, he's colour blind!
Even my driving passes the test.
I'm idolized.
He doesn't read or criticize.
Or measure the weight I'm pulling.
There's nothing about me that he hates.

It's okay, man, he says with adoring eyes.
You're good enough.
All I want for now
is a kind word
and a hand that strokes my fur
in the right direction.

I believe, I think...

flickr image by pratanti

I believe in a feeling, caring universe, but experience suggests this belief is utterly fantasy. When I compare the behaviour of 'civilized' peoples toward one another - when I reflect on the catalogue of murder, pillage, greed, abuse and indifference that adds up to human history - how can I possibly hold on to my ideal of 'Intelligent Desire' and Love expressed through evolution?

It's at that point I have a decision to make: either give up on the notion of a feeling, caring universe; or renew my faith by acting in a feeling, caring way myself, and thereby expressing 'Intelligent Desire' in the face of adversity. My flickering commitment will never make much difference beyond my circle of family and friends. But it is an affirmation that sustains Wonder and Joy in a minute corner of the universe, at least.

Enlightenment advances one soul at a time. Often we cannot see other candles, wavering in the dark; we simply have to believe they are there, and keep our own lights shining.

Theism, Panentheism, Panthesim. What are you?

~

You're looking at me
looking at you.
Hello God, How do you do?

Have I got this right? A Theist believes that God cannot change; a Panentheist, that God can change; a Pantheist, that God is change.

Love is eternally immanent.

Don't talk to me about God; be god in your actions.

~